Stop Violence Against Women !!!!: Recommit, Refocus, Rejuvenate

Monday, December 21, 2009

Recommit, Refocus, Rejuvenate

As I sat on my bed

Pen in hand

Journal on lap

Mind splitting in tearing directions

My mind has declared vacation

Leaving my heart frantic

Mister Time mercilessly ticking by

A fresh year advancing fast

Reviewing months before

Alas some goals failed to materialise

Even when birthed from best intentions

Lack of focus escalating tension

Stop and take a deep breath,

Breath in breath out relax

Clear away clouds of mind fluff

Affirmations seeping through in comfort

Repeat, reaffirm, reassure,

Clutching these affirmations

Like a lifeline to regaining balance

Slowing down erratic heartbeats

A new chance to recommit will come again

Weaving up moments for one to refocus

Cuing one to rejuvenate as and when

Finally gathering my scattered wits

Affirming gently in my heart

Recommit, refocus, rejuvenate

Recommit, refocus, rejuvenate!

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ABSTRACT

I created this blog as a tool to raise awareness about domestic violence and other forms of violence against women/girls more especially early/forced marriages and the important role that the public can play to address its causes and consequences. I firmly believed that, we need to reduce or stop forced and early marriages from happening in the first place, and to provide help and support to girls who are victims.

The high prevalence of early and forced marriage in my community today results in profound physical, psychological and emotional consequences for affected girls and most often cuts off educational opportunity and chances of personal growth for them. It further results in premature pregnancy and childbearing and potential lifetime of domestic and sexual subservience over which these girls has no control. Factors for early and forced marriages in the community range from economic factors- such as poverty and economic survival to socio-cultural factors such as harmful traditional beliefs including ignorance by perpetuating families.

Despite the limited availability of research and official data on the phenomena, any young woman in my community, like myself, can share her personal story or that of someone they know. Many of us have suffered the same pressure, violation and agony- even for choosing to resist forced marriages. These phenomena is destroying the lives of too many girls and young women in our community and denying them opportunities and rights that they may never have back. It requires urgent and immediate action. My project is a small but an important step in this direction- to mobilize and sensitize parents, girls and the community on the negative implications of this practice, promote community dialogue and action on the issue. Through community outreach/ organizing, training and awareness/ empowerment programs, I seek to work with my community to help reduce the prevalence of early and forced marriages.

THE PROBLEM

Early marriage is a major issue in the community. Most parents force and arrange marriages for their children without their consent and due regard for their rights as human beings. According to Article 6a of the protocol to the African Charter on Human and People’s Right on the Rights of Women in Africa states that, no marriage shall take place without the free and full consent of both parties. This in most cases leads to wife battering and other forms of domestic violence, uncompleted formal education and physical body damage.

Domestic violence remains one of the major consequences of early force and arranged marriages as these girls are caught unprepared and unwilling are hardly able please the men forced on them. For example, there was a couple around my neighborhood, prior to their marriage; they had never met each other even though they were cousins. They happen to be married due to the commitments made by their parents. Unfortunately, the couple never grows to like each other or even love each other. As I get to know them, I learned that both husband and wife were in serious relationships prior to their arranged marriage. They were not only separated from the relationships of their choice, but forced into a marriage they did not decide and with someone they did not choose.

Like many other victims of such practice, their lives have been horrible together. As a neighbor, I witnessed and have intervened in several of their episodes of their fights and violent encounters. They are only an example of the thousands of victims of this practice in the country.

Another key issue with forced and arranged early marriage is the fact that the children especially the girl child almost always has to stop the formal education to get married. Some of these girls are bright students always at the top of their class. But their potential is diminished in order to satisfy their parents’ desire of marrying them out. Only one percent (1%) of the husbands allows and support wives to finish their education and archive their goals.

Forced and arranged marriages do not only deprive them from education but also destroys their body and soul (physical and emotional harm). Because, many of this girls are young teenagers and cannot sustain a full time pregnancy, they consequently face some serious difficulties during pregnancy and child birth with serious long term implications for their physical health.

THE PROJECT

This project is designed as an immediate intervention and starting point for a permanent solution to the problem. It seeks to initiative public dialogue on the issues and engage the community in confronting and ending the practice. It will enable parents and more especially girls to learn and be more educated about the dangers and negative implications of early marriage in general to their lives. It will serve as forum where the community will learned and be empowered about the importance of educating their children and respect their rights.

GOALS

The project goal is to help reduce the number of early forced and arranged marriages in the community.

OBJECTIVES

1. 350- 500 community members will receive direct awareness training on the issue and transfer the knowledge gained to others in their community.

2. Identify and empower girls confronted with the predicament to make informed decision about the right time of marriage and at their own convenient time.

3. Reach out to and provide information to at least 60% of parents in the community about the dangers and negative implications of their impositions early on their children.

EXPECTED RESULT:

The result of this project will be the attitudinal change of the people in the community toward early forced and arranged marriages- an informed citizenry about the negative impacts of early and forced marriages, informed and empowered young .

National, Regional and International Human Rights

Instruments against Early/Forced Marriage

A range of national, regional and international human rights instruments lay down norms to be applied to marriage, covering issues of age, consent, equality within marriage, and the personal and property rights of women. These include:

Article 16 of the 1948 Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR) states:

(1) Men And women of full age … have the right to marry and found a family. They are entitle to equal rights as to marriage, during marriage and at its dissolution.

(2) Marriage shall be entered into only with the free and full consent of the intending parties.

Articles 1, 2, and 3 of the 1964 Convention on Consent to Marriage, Minimum Age for

Marriage and Registration of Marriages state:

(1) No marriage shall be legally entered Into without the full and free consent of both parties, such consent to be expressed by Them in person … as prescribed by law.

(2) States Parties to the present Convention shall … Specify a minimum age for marriage (“not less than 15 years” according to the nonbinding Recommendation accompanying this Convention). No marriage shall be legally entered into by any person under this age, except where a competent authority has granted a dispensation as to age, for serious reasons, in the interests of the intending spouses …

(3) All marriages shall be registered … by the competent authority.

Article 16.1 of the 1979 Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women prescribes equally for men and women:

(a) The same right to enter into marriage;

(b) The same right freely to choose a spouse and to enter into marriage only with their free and full consent; … Article 16.2 states: The betrothal and the marriage of a child shall have no legal effect, and all necessary action, including legislation, shall be taken to specify a minimum age for marriage.

Article XXI of the 1990 African Charter on the Rights and Welfare of the Child states: Child marriage and the betrothal of girls and boys shall be prohibited and effective action, including legislation, shall be taken to specify the minimum age of marriage to be eighteen years .

The 1997 Constitution of the Gambia states: “Men and women of full age and capacity shall have the right to marry and found family.” And that “Marriage shall be based on the free and full consent of the intended parties.

MISSION

To pave way for women and girls to make informed decisions on the right time of marriage and the appropriate choice of getting the right man at the convenient time.

VISION

A better community with active and effective female participation in making decisions on issues affecting their own lives.

comments are welcomed from all readers because sharing our ideas on the issue in hand will make a big difference in the future....TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Recommit, Refocus, Rejuvenate

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Stop Violence Against Women !!!!